adventures in awesomeness…

The Education Myth

My newest procrastination “thing” is to read the comments of politically heated news articles. It’s amazing how honest (i.e., nasty, stupid, ill-informed, etc…) people are under the anonymity of the Internet. I could dedicate an entire post to that, but not today.

So, I’m reading the comments under an article about the economy/November elections, where the Tea-Party Express is celebrating its wins over “RiNO” candidate, Mike Castle. Amidst all the crazies, there is a lone “liberal” defending the Democratic position regarding jobs. He makes the argument that if Americans had better education then we wouldn’t have this incredible unemployment rate. Hmmm, let’s think about that.

Does it really make sense that jobs went away because Americans are “dumb”? Does it make sense that a staggering chunk of our jobs were shipped overseas because the Chinese factory workers making $2/day were more educated than us? While I fully and wholeheartedly agree that Americans are suffering from becoming a nation of test-takers who lack basic critical thinking skills that prevent us from questioning the politicians who enact policies that allow our jobs to be shipped overseas, I don’t agree that our lack of jobs is directly correlated to our (lack of) education.

Under that argument, if we become more educated, jobs will come back. They will? Corporations will take a profit loss to hire educated Americans that will now demand a higher salary to pay off those student loans along with benefits like health care, retirement 401K, 10 days paid vacation, and a 40 hour workweek….? Really? No.

The Democrats are using education – which does need to be greatly improved upon – as a scapegoat for the jobless rate. Yes, our education system need a major overhaul. But that’s not what is going to bring jobs back. The truth is that jobs aren’t coming back… not unless we protect our borders (and I’m not talking about immigration) and make it profitable for businesses to hire Americans over factory slaves.

And I don’t buy the whole “Americans are moving away from manufacturing jobs.” Are we driving around in ideas or cars? I am all for making a profit, but not at the expense of an entire class of citizens, hardworking citizens that can build something (and then buy it and use it) without a $100K Ph.D..

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Good Equals Boring

After chatting with a friend I hadn’t heard from in a while, I came to the conclusion that good = boring. The conversation started with your usual mindless chitchat, cleaning products, fingernail clippers, Mexico’s independence and what not. And while I can talk for days on end about my need (yes, it’s a need) for Pine Sol to make an air freshener or the wonderful terrors that are my children, eventually I began to wonder how long we’d spar back and forth before getting to the juicy stuff that I’d been speculating on for almost a week. And then, just as I was about to throw the conversation into second, the question arose on the other end: So how the heck are you?

Hmm, how was I? I thought about it. Aside from being poorer than I’d like to be and in need of a serious hair cut, I was good. Juuuuussst goooooooood. Bleck. YAAAWWWNN! Boring!! Where is the conversation in that?? (Unless anyone knows of a cheap stylist in the NoHo area… Then I’m all ears.)

And since I was “just good”, my friend now also had to be “just good.” Apparently, there is some unspoken rule that you must be in the same emotional life state as the person you are talking with. If they are happy, you’re happy (even when you’re not) and if they are in the dumps, you are permitted to discuss the low points in your own life, usually under the pretense that you’re offering some kind of pick-me-up advice. I never follow this rule because 1) it’s retarded and 2) I will almost never skip an opportunity to talk about myself (don’t you know it!) Anyhow, then we had this super-phoney, slightly-awkward, non-toe-stepping banter while we each waited for the other to make some excuse to escape the wreckage of what could have been an awesomely (!) interesting conversation.

So how does “good” manage to ruin great conversations? This isn’t the only conversation I’ve had that’s been stalled by good. I’m noticing a trend. Maybe I should to stop talking about the only four things I do in life: babies, beach, biking, and um, Jessielah crap. The weather? Who cares! Poo-poo in the potty? Old news! I’m taking up lying, say that life is hard again, that I was attacked by a praying mantis who stole my keys… something. Because now I just have to make something interesting up.

Bottom Line: Good gets you endless speculation and a sore throat.

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The Spanking.

So I know it’s pretty much criminal to spank your kids nowadays because spankings lead to serial killers, rapists, and tea-partists (or marxist-liberals, depending on your viewpoint).

However… I have found that the spanking (most importantly, the threat of a spanking) is in fact a very useful tool in my parental discipline belt. The first time I used spanking, it wasn’t effective at all. My eldest son laughed, then proceeded to thrust his butt into the air and patted his butt again. So, I went back to “No, no!” and just being a human barrier between Jaxon’s curious little fingers and whatever it was they wanted to get into. And I must say, it worked pretty well.

Until a few months ago, when my children were kidnapped by witches and replaced with changelings.

My sweet, well-behaved children.

Two wild and crazy imps, masquerading as children.

“No” was a joke and time out…? Oh you mean peek-a-boo with brother while Mama is trying to corral two little wild ones both into different corners? And then I lost it and spanked the babies. And I spanked them good. But while I felt better that they no longer thought that destroying the house was a game, it didn’t have a long-term effect. Plus, you really can’t wallop your kids in public because you get mad. Well you can, but who wants to risk someone reporting you to CPS? My kids aren’t that bad. So instead I give them a choice. They can do what I ask, or they can get a spanking. After getting a good swatting for running away up two flights of stairs, Little Mylo thought twice about getting up from bed.

Go to bed Little Mylo. He throws himself on the ground, screaming. Do you want a spanking? He says “No” in that oh-so adorable Mylo voice. Then get into your bed. One, twoooo… (two is always dragged out, just to give them a running chance) and before I could say three, he hopped up and scurried over to his bed and put his head on the pillow.

Yes! Me: 1, babies: 0

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Happy Birthday to ME!!

And in celebration of my 24th* birthday, here’s 24 reasons why today rocks:

1. Waking up this morning to the pitter patter of four little feet and wondering “Why is Matt getting up and taking them out of the room?”

And then I remembered… today is mah mutha effing birfday!!!!

2. Rolling over and going back to sleep after previously said realization.

3. Waking up to Mylo talking to me while putting olives in my hair.

4. The Pumpkin Spice Latte (valued at $4.45) FOR FREEEEE!!! Thanks, Starbucks.

5. Watching the boys play at the park and remembering when they were teeny tiny and made sounds like cats.

6. Birthday email from Ruby!

7. Saying “EFF IT” to vacuuming! (for today, anyway.)

8. Matt surprising me by coming home at 12:30 and then running errands while I goof off on the Internet!!!

9. The giant, almost-toilet clogging poop that motivated me to write this list of awesome birthday things. Seriously. You guys know it. Giant poops are always awesome.

10. Birthday cake from Portos. Mmmmmmmm… and potato balls. Yum. Yum. Yum.

11. Balloons and streamers!!

12. Beautiful, blue skies without the nasty heat that usually accompanies them.

13. Birthdays on Facebook. It’s all about the love!

14. The movie Date Night. Sometimes stupid can be a good thing…. and entertaining!

15. Watching videos of baby Jaxon.

16. Watching videos of baby Mylo.

17. Watching videos of Lizzie telling the camera that she “loves placenta!” Oh, my sister cracks me up.

18. Reading comments off of Drudge Report links. Sometimes stupid can be a bad thing… but entertaining nevertheless.

19. Being born.

20. The “HAAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YAH!” song. What was that like 17 years ago (um, erm, uh,  I mean… 9 years ago. Heh.)

21. Making music — oh I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!

22. Hot birthday sex (don’t you know it!)

23. Did I mention that Matt took the boys with him to run errands for me while I play on the Internet? Cause, that’s pretty much tops.

24. Tons of hugs and birthday love!!!

Birthdays Rule!! Almost as much as birthday cake!!!

* = shhhh, it’s okay, just go along with it. It will feel good, I promise. =)
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