Jessielah!

adventures in awesomeness…

Baking by Fire!

I knew I was supposed to make spaghetti and meatballs AND cookies for the boys’ Pre-K Holiday/Cultural pot luck, so I don’t know why I waited until the day before to make EVERYTHING.

I also thought this would be a good day to go on a 7 mile bike ride and fast. (I have no idea what is wrong with my brain sometimes.)

So after laying on the couch, panting like a dying dog, I force myself to get up and start baking. I manage to whip up 2 cookie batters before I have to go back to preschool. Then we rush home and I make 3 more different types of cookie dough (yeah, something is definitely going wrong inside my brain) before realizing that we have to go to the store to get EVERYTHING for spaghetti & meatballs.

I start out making these, Chocolate Peppermint Cookies from Martha Stewart’s Living Magazine:

Martha Stewart RecipesDon’t they look just delightful!!

I follow the recipe to a T and the resulting cookies… delicious! They taste exactly like a thin mint!

Amped up about making a tasty and attractive cookie, I move on to a chocolate thumbprint cookie filled with ganache (also Martha Stewart, from the same issue). I didn’t have enough softened butter so I decide to cut the recipe in half. Again, the cookies come out looking great (thank you Martha!) but when I go to eat one… whoa, I can really taste the salt in there.

GODDAMNIT! Who forgot to cut the salt in half and added TWO teaspoons instead of one?

DOH!Me. I ruined the cookies.

But, I thought, perhaps they could be saved with the ganache filling. Wrong! The salt overpowered everything. I was starting to feel like Jamie in Top Chef when she over salted her celery and went spiralling out of control. They were the first, but not the last, cookie to go in the trash.

I take a break from cookies to get the meatballs made, as the boys are starving and I won’t let them eat cookies for dinner. After a horrible trip to Target, I get the spaghetti and meatballs going and return to my next cookie, the Key Lime thumbprint cookies.

They turn out okay, but I don’t like shortbread that is too thick, so everything kind of sticks to the roof of my mouth. I leave out the key lime filling for the second batch and add strawberry jam straight from the jar. Much better! And more festive. Yay.

Spirits up I decide it’s time to coat these peppermint cookies with white chocolate. But as my stove is filled with spaghetti noodles and sauce and meatballs, I have to use the microwave, which is always tricky, even for reheating coffee. The chips don’t look like they are melting so I add butter. And my chocolate turns into a grainy clump.

Seized White ChocolateWHAT. THE. HELL??

Apparently, you are not supposed to put even like a speck of water in chocolate or it will seize up. Even a moist wooden spoon can cause your delicious Ghiradelli chocolate to turn into junk. Luckily I had two bags.

I use a water bath/double boiler this time and things are going along well. And then…. JUNK! Fuck, fuck, fucking fucker fuckaholic! I am pretty pissed. I am also tired and hungry. Plus the damned dog is scavenging around, ducking in and out of the shadows looking for the moment when my back is turned to climb up the step stool and eat everything off the counter. (Yes, the dog have evolved and can now use tools, like an ape.)

We eat, I put the boys down, I almost fall asleep on the floor, and then I slowly, sadly, trudge back to the kitchen. It’s almost nine pm. Where did my day go?

So Chocolate Peppermint cookies have no coating. I try to “frost them with the white chocolate but it looks ugly and makes the cookies soft. I try making sandwiches out of them with the ganache. I decorate them with stencils and powdered sugar. But none of them really taste that great or look that great and it’s a ton of work I don’t want to do now that it’s ten pm.

And then I realize I have two more cookies in the fridge that need to be cooked. I decide that it’s time to get drunk.

It makes making my ammonia cookies a bit easier. I decide, after burning the first batch, not to make the Meyer Lemon Lace Tuiles.

It’s 12:10am. I’ve been awake for 17 hours, baking for 14 of those hours. My feet ache. My back aches. But… But. I have a fabulous tray of cookies that look good (enough) and taste yummy yummy.

Seacrest out!

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It’s Friday, You Ain’t Got No Job…

…well, that’s not entirely true because raising two boys and managing a household is a eff-ton of work!

Yay, it’s Friday. Not like that means much to me. I don’t have a job that gives me weekends off and my husband is now working 6 (or sometimes 7) days a week, so he really doesn’t have a weekend either. But it’s still Friday. And that means time for this weeks: FRIDAY FIVE!!!!

Top Five:
5. Removable, washable couch cushions
4. Carla from Top Chef making it into the final 3. Whoo Hoo!!
3. Double tall, foamy, no whip, peppermint mochas…. mmmmm
2. Mylo’s new smiles and chirps.
1. Sliding down the double slide with Jaxon.

Bottom Five:
5. Dogs that think they are people and get on the couch
4. People who speed up when you put on your blinker… even though you have ample time to merge
3. Deep cleaning procedures when you have a toothache and sensitive gums
2. My husband working 12 hour days
1. Poops that clog the toilet… because I have time for that shit, right???

Today was fun. I got to go to the dentist! Yay. I had bacteria last year but pretty good otherwise, now I have mild periodontal disease. !?!?!?! Another joy of pregnancy. No I will not be having any more. Good news, my hygienist was super cool (especially for 7am). Bad news, deep cleanings fucking hurt like a MOTHER!!! Jesus.

But afterward I got to spend the day with my family. It was GORGEOUS outside (makes you understand why people pay so much to live here). We went to the park and had a blast. There were some not so nice kids and then some really nice and polite ones!! All into sharing and stuff. Awesome. Costco was fabulous (insane, I know…) And then I got to watch the Office with my hubby and take a 15 minute nap that seemed like 2 hours. REFRESHING!! Then my sister came over with Lola and Brianna and we got to open up the Valentines Day wine that I never got to share with Matt. It was good. Hehe! I love Trader Joe’s.

Anyhow… got to go to the store and get bottled H20.

Have a great weekend!!

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I’m Back!

So I realized that having babies means never having any privacy… at least when you live in a house where the doors don’t lock.I can’t even poop without company. I thought I could distract him with lunch, but nope, Jaxon busts through the door, chicken in hand, ready to play and go through all the drawers. He tries to unroll the toilet paper, shut the toilet lid on me, and went through all my make up and jewelry. Later on that evening I found that chicken nestled up next to one of my hair brushes. Gross.

I think having a toddler and a newborn is getting to me…. I’ve been so doped up Tylenol with codeine I don’t really know what’s going on.

TOP FIVE:
5. Top Chef – Whoo!! Carla’s going to the finale!!
4. Hair extentions… long hair = fabulous!
3. Starbucks double tall foamy no-whip peppermint mocha… gets me through the day.
2. Washable couch cushions
1. Jaxon’s giggles and Mylo’s chirps

BOTTOM FIVE:
5. Bally’s no-babies under six months Kiddie Care
4. Sticky-butt poops
3. Dogs on the furniture… grrrh
2. Toothaches
1. Nights without my booble!

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