Jessielah!

adventures in awesomeness…

SCONES!!

Last week, sick of the same old eggs and toast breakfast (I know, how could you get sick of eggs and toast) I decided to bust out some scones using this just-add-water mix my mom had given me for Christmas. It was incredibly easy. I just added water (and some blueberries), knead 5 or 6 times, shape, bake, and eat! My first bite was nothing like the blueberry scone from Starbucks. So I did a little reading (thank you, Internet) and found that scones are more like biscuits, not hard, odd-shaped cakes. Matt asked if I had enough for him to take to work. I only had 11 (one was snuggled up in my belly at this point). But I was so excited about how tasty my scones turned out, that I decided that I’d make more! Blueberry, orange cranberry, cheese and basil, cinnamon… yum, yum, yum!! And I could try all of them and then send the rest off to hungry game programmers. Win-win.

So after the horror show we had yesterday with Mylo and his teething aggressions, I decided that today would be a wholesome day of baking. I found a basic recipe on-line at greatpartyrecipes.com

Looks simple enough, and I have all the ingredients!

I added in an extra tablespoon of sugar, a dash of cinnamon, 2% milk, salted butter and about a cup of orange-flavored dried cranberries.

Instant Pudding and Marshmallow Treats should take a tip from these delicious Orange Flavored Cranberries!

I didn’t use a full 3/4 cup of milk and the dough was stickier that the instant scone mix, causing me some nervousness as I cut them up and put them in the oven. Some managed to retain their triangle shape, but others were just little dough blobs.

Sticky but still yummy looking.

The scones went into a 400 degrees oven for 12 minutes. I was pleasantly surprised by what I saw.

Yes, they taste as good as they look!

They were crisp and flaky… a bit salty (I had to eyeball a 1/2 tablespoon of salt) but so yummy with butter, jam, and Tetley. Now if I only had some clotted cream…

Jaxon approved! We have a winner!

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4pm is Pudding Time.

Trader Joe’s, you’ve fooled us yet again.

Last week, we’re at Trader Joe’s looking for bread crumbs when my two-year old son hands me a fancy package. What is this, I mutter out loud. Jaxon says something that I can’t understand, jumps, points, and laughs. It’s Instant Chocolate Pudding.

I shudder. I hate… hate pudding. Want to know what is worse that white, creamy things? Brown creamy things. I won’t go into details but ever since visiting the school bathroom in first grade, I’ve gone off pudding. But Jaxon wants it and it’s like $1.99 and not filled with high fructose glop. So I buy it and into the cupboard it went until today. Jaxon is jumping and dancing around the kitchen like a Broadway performer. Matt looks at what he is pointing at. It’s Instant Chocolate Pudding.

“HOW DOES HE EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS IS?” Matt exclaims. I shrug and blame the old school toy-like packaging. It’s easy enough to¬† make. 2 cups of milk + pudding mix. Stir. Sets in 5 minutes. “Sholet! Sholet!” Jaxon shouts dancing around with Mylo – whose agenda is to get the mandarin oranges from the fridge by any means necessary. I stir till it starts to thicken. It looks like Ovaltine. I let him lick the whisk which results in an impromptu dance and wiggle. I put the bowl in the fridge and read the package.

“Trader Joe’s Instant Chocolate Pudding is made with Dutched cocoa and is a rich, creamy desert… Your kids will love it and so will the kid in you…”

Hmmm. Where have I heard this before? I am skeptical, but Jaxon is jumping around like he won the lottery so we wait. 5 minutes later, I retrieve the pudding. It’s wiggly and pudding-like. I taste it. Bleck. Taste like pudding. The true test. I scoop a few spoonfuls into a bowl for Jaxon (don’t want to spoil his finicky appetite as it’s 4pm.) He dances and sings all the way to the table. He takes a bite. Stops. Looks down. I wanted to laugh out loud. He takes a few more bites, just to be polite, and then brings me his bowl. “Awl doen.” I’m sure you are, Jaxy my boy. I’m sure you are.

Bottom Line: 25 years later and pudding is still gross. Nice to know I haven’t missed out on much.

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Eating Healthy is Bad for My Mouth.

I am talking about Trader Joe’s Organic Brown Rice Marshmallow Treats. I know, I know… the oxymoronic name should have given it away. Organic… marshmallow… brown rice… treats?!? But I usually love TJ’s snacks (mmm, plantain chips!) so I decided to give these a try.

One word. Gross.

The box reads: Kids and adults of all ages will like the crispy, chewy, creamy taste of these traditional treats made the healthy way! That. Is a lie. I gave a piece to Jaxon and he threw it down like a hot turd. Even this girl thought they were so gross she felt the need to blog about it. Crispy and creamy? How can you be crispy and creamy? You can’t. That’s called S-T-A-L-E. I didn’t know how these rice crispy treats failed so badly. It’s rice, marshmallow, butter, and some cold. I checked the ingredients. Oh. Vegan. Gluten-free. Crap. And what the hell is vegetable glycerin and why is it in my treats?!? Sigh.

I seriously considered returning these to Trader Joe’s to demand my $2.99 and my taste buds back, but the dog got into them and puked them up all over the house.

My life is fabulous.

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