adventures in awesomeness…

Little Blue Strip

on August 5, 2010

First off, fucking cheers re: the decision to overturn Prop 8!!  Now if we only had a babysitter (or a job) we’d be out partying it up in WeHo. And while Thursday is usually reason enough to drink, overturning discriminatory laws make the Miller High Life that much sweeter. I’m sure we haven’t seen the last of this, God, or magic underwear Jesus spaceships, but today is a good day for celebrating what we’ve got.

However. It’s a bad day for Maxi Pads.

My arch nemesis… the little blue strip.

You piece of shit marketing ploy. Why are you even in my underwear?!? You don’t work! Are you simply there for decoration? Is red and white not enough color splash for you? Is the blue supposed to be soothing and calming? Are you trying to highlight where all the menses is NOT going??? And why the eff is there anything down there anyways?

And the commercials… the COMMERCIALS! Who has ever had blood that just pours out of you like milk into a cup?? What the fucking fuck?!? I know it sometimes feels like that. And I know some of you may imagine that it comes out like a cascading water fall, complete with Daniel Day Lewis diving into the pool below (I will find yooouuu!), but it’s not. Unless you are wearing that cup thing and for Friday-Night-Fun you pour it out onto a maxi pad before disposing of it.

Wow. And this post just became TMI. Not that I have a cup or do anything fun on Friday nights, but I’m sure you’re either cringing in horror or laughing at someone who is right about now.

Bottom Line: Eff you, little blue strip. Spoon sucks. The Bravery rule. Eat it, Britt Daniels.


5 responses to “Little Blue Strip

  1. Matt says:

    Whoa — I always thought that stuff came out in a sort of mist. Or a foam for heavy flow.

  2. Matt says:

    PS. That’s not Miller High Life you’re drinking. That’s Bud Light. Target had a sale. $7.99, WOO!

  3. lizzie says:

    why the eff are you wearing pads anyways!!!!!!!WTF

  4. LOL, I’ve always loved the way commercials depicted menstruation and feminine hygiene… then again, they “have to” because they’re not allowed to display it in any other way for it to be allowed to air — because the using the words vagina, menstruation/menstrual flow and using red-coloured liquid is disallowed on public TV.

    The little blue part is supposed to be the “most absorbent part” where it “locks in the fluid” or “draws flow into the centre”… then again as you said, it’s usually NOT where the menstrual flow usually ends up anyways 😛

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