We cut Jaxon’s hair. I thought about taking him to a salon for kids where he gets to ride in a car barber seat, eat candy, and watch cartoons while amazing things are happening but…. it was like $30 bucks. Say what?!?
Lollicut… where your children can hate you from a monster truck chair.
Yeah, that kid is the Lollicut poster child and he doesn’t look too thrilled about his hair. Matt needed a haircut too so we decided that I should just cut everyone’s hair at home. Clippers were $14.99 at Fry’s so I’ve already saved $15.01. Whoo! Now the last time I gave someone a hair cut it was for Travis in 2001. I tried to give him a “fade” and ended up turning his head into a mushroom. It was like, straight out of the early ’90s. Obviously, he didn’t let me cut his hair again. Now I was back in the barber’s seat. After watching several YouTube videos, I practiced on Matt. I messed up slightly with the ear taper guide settings, but otherwise everything turned out very un-mushroomy and very much like I had envisioned.
Yay. I was feeling good. I asked Jaxon if he wanted his hair cut. “No!” he yelled, holding his hair. But I was feeling confident so I bribe him with some Craisins and start brushing his hair out. And that is when the tears begin. My tears. I couldn’t bear to cut it. I kept asking myself questions like… how little do I have to trim? If I comb it long enough, will it just magically grow back inside his scalp? Matt was less emotional. Hair is like grass, he explained, it grows back. Sigh. But this was baby hair. His golden, albeit messy, curls! Sigh. I snipped. Oh god… what have I done?!? It was horrible. Jaxon knew I messed up. He started screaming. Matt had to restrain him, the whole time yelling at me to just use the clippers. I was frantic. I grabbed the largest setting and started cutting. Jaxon pooped in retaliation. Horror!! I had tears streaming down my face. What if we just stopped now and bathed him. But we were only half way done. He looked like a chemo patient. It was awful. I changed him and finished the cut. He was sobbing. I was wailing. His hair was gone. Tufts of golden curl and baby innocence scattered over the tile like cotton. Sigh. I looked at him. Who is this stranger in front of me? Where is baby Jaxon?!?
He wouldn’t let me touch it up so it’s a bit uneven and there is some sort of duck tail action happening in the back. Not enough to warrant a muscle shirt and stick-on tattoos but I’ll have to deal with it eventually. I’m getting used to his new cut and I am sure he enjoys not having hair in his eyes all the time. I didn’t realize it would change his look so much. Fro-bo Jaxon is gone forever. Mylo will have to carry on the torch of the Fro-Bo.