I’m trying to follow three simple dietary rules: No sick meat (or dairy), no corn in non-corn related products (that’s a work in progress), and no soybeans – eff Monsanto. Well folks, it’s pretty much an impossible task, but I’m trying.
Last night, I’m drinking beer (probably fermented soy-hops) and decide that I should eat something before I get really drunk and do something stupid. You mean like putting your palm through the front window to kill a fly? Exactly. Because it’s fast, easy, and delicious, I make some popcorn. Olive oil is suppose to burn at high temperatures, so instead I grab the Crisco Vegetable Oil.
I’m suddenly curious. What kind of vegetables make up vegetable oil? (In my head I’m thinking carrots, squash, potatoes and other random things I don’t particularly like to eat.) I check the ingredients:
How can they call it vegetable oil when it’s only ingredient is soybean oil?? Is the soybean a veggie? Um, not the last time I checked. It’s a legume. Technically, it should be called Legume Oil. But who would buy that? That sounds gross. Legume Oil. Maybe Bean Oil? No. That just sounds like what you get after taking one of those fat absorbing pills. Ewh.
PS. Anyone seen those Smucker’s commercials with those two shitty kids walking around the barn and the strawberry patch talking about what they are going to be when they grow up. “How ‘come no one asks me?” the boy wonders. BECAUSE YOU’RE GOING TO BE A LIAR! (That was done in my scary monster, yell-at-bad-little-kids voice, if you were wondering.)