adventures in awesomeness…

It’s My Scientific Speciality.

on April 28, 2010

I woke up Tuesday morning tired. I should have slept in, but I had a laundry list of stuff I needed to get done before my audition that night, so off I went into the wonderful world that is San Francisco. I managed to get most everything done before I grabbed Ruby for lunch. We hit the usual spot, Louis’, for lunch.

A man with 17 children works here. He’s taking applications to make more.

It was pretty crowded so we opted to sit at the bar. As we waited for our food, Ruby noticed something, well, um, odd, about the guy sitting next to me. Using our super sleuth skills, we managed to capture our discoveries on film to share with you, dear reader.

Not the usual, Bob. Today, I’ll take that pie ala mode. I’m going rogue.

As if my choice of literature wasn’t enough of a suggestion…

Oh. Well, hello there. Don’t you stick out like a batman at a pre-med party. But that wasn’t all. As he got up to poop, (I am sure of it) we saw that he had a cast on one foot, and on the other, he wore this:

The ultimate in fashion footwear for the gun-slinging rogue.

We have since come to the conclusion that he is a closet gay who has been drawn to the city. However, he can’t help but flaunt his Republican-ness to hide the fact that he needs warm, man-arms badly. (Mmm, man-arms.) Using his Sarah Palin book as fodder, he baits himself in hopes of striking up a feisty argument, culminating, of course, with hot, gay sex. Ah, reading people… it’s my scientific specialty.

15 people agree that The Neverending Story was one of the most awesome things about 1984.


5 responses to “It’s My Scientific Speciality.

  1. Ruby says:

    “He’s taking applications to make more.”

    I. Can’t. Stop. Laughing.

    • jessielah says:

      But was true! He totally was trying to find a wife or something to have some more babies. I should have given him Mylo. Ha!

      • Ruby says:

        Oh, I know. That’s why I laughed so hard. You were definitely in the running. He already had proof that you make beautiful babies.

        (Remember how grossed out I was when he made that comment though? Like, dude, can you just tie it in a knot already? You don’t NEED any more babies, you’re like 60 years old. Oh my god. I just realized he is Matt in 25 years. Hahahahahahaha!)

  2. lizzie says:

    The minute I saw this title….I knew EXACTLY where it was from ,what he was wearing ,his grossy little tooth, and I could say just him !! What was he…..goblin/elf/blah!

    • jessielah says:

      “His grossy tooth” — hahahahahah! Yes!!

      I totally called it! Matt was like, what does that mean at the end? And I was all… Only Lizzie (and maybe Sara) will get that. I don’t know what he was. And his little wife with that tuff coming out of her head. I don’t know why she reminds me of the Littles. Do you remember that cartoon?

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