adventures in awesomeness…


on April 15, 2010

NOTE: This post may come across as mean. If you are of that opinion, you can suck-it.

So one of my dear friends joined OK Cupid a while back because it was free. However, in order for me to see (and laugh at and rate) the guys who contacted her, I had to join myself. Now, I did put that I was married, had two kids, and the only reason I had an account was because I wanted to see, laugh at, and rate the guys who contacted my dear friend. Despite this, every so often I receive “winks” from guys with really bizarre photos or a random email asking how Nut Milk taste. I thought I had turned most everything off so I wasn’t bombarded with OK Cupid spam, but apparently not. because freshly delivered to my inbox was an email congratulating me. Congratulations?!? What did I win? (cheese puffs, I hope!)

No, Jessielah, you did NOT win any cheese puffs. Cheese puffs are bad for you, made from aliens, and leave neon orange stains on your couch, clothes, teeth, and whatever else they happen to come in contact with.

Congratulations because one of these nine men chose you on QuickMatch (which, according to my dear friend, is stupid and doesn’t work.)

1. Letting the ladies know that he is one with nature, but not one with his face.

2. Peninsula Boy.

3. What does Nut Milk taste like? Be specific, now, ’cause I’m a pervert.

4. Meditation is not a hippie thing, it’s a people thing. Riiiight.

5. In my attempts to be cool (see earring), I forgot I was old. But my beard didn’t.

6. It’s Dennis Quaid! Yeah!

7. I’m probably a douche. Too bad, cause I have a thing for freckles.

8. How deep am I? Be careful, don’t drown in my ONE EYE!!!

9. A Shane Dundas look-a-like. Nice.

Can YOU guess which one chose me on QuickMatch? Five points to the winner!


7 responses to “Ewh.

  1. Heather says:

    I’m going to go with Number 2. Don’t know why but I was feeling like he might be the one…that or the freckle guy.

  2. Ruby says:

    4. Meditation guy. He is looking for a totally enlightening threesome. Because marriages in the courts don’t mean anything–that’s just a piece of paper, don’t you know? It’s all about the connection of mind and body. Your three souls will rise above all of that, intertwined in a loving embrace of warmth and sexual energy.

  3. Matt says:

    Well I hope that’s nOT him Ruby because that’s apparently the last thing we need. BHwahhaha

    I’m going to say it’s… NUMBER 2. Reasons? He looks emo. (Emo guys are into Jess.) Also – those glasses. Guys that wear glasses like that are clearly into Jess.

    So PENINSULA BOY it is!!!

    • Ruby says:

      Plus, Peninsula Boy (I also like to think of him as Marina Boy) is pointing at YOU. In that cool kind of way with his thumbs up. ‘Cause, you know, he’s REALLY cool.

      Still going to go with #4 though. You think you don’t need it, Matt, but he’s been meditating on it for weeks and the great spirit has told him otherwise. There may be dreamcatchers and crystals involved.

  4. sara says:

    Okay, # 9 creeps me out the most so I’m going to vote for that one.

  5. jessielah says:

    Hmmm… I was waiting for Lizzie to guess before I gave out the answer. Hehehe. Your responses are funny. I especially Sara’s reason. The creepiest guy picked me? Hahahaha!!!

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