Last summer at the Del Mar Fair rides I ended up riding everything alone after Matt’s encounter with the Ferris Wheel, so he decided to make it up to me by offering to take me to Six Flags. He used to go all the time as a kid and claimed he loved roller coasters. I was skeptical, but who was I to turn down a trip to Magic Mountain so 3 hours after Matt arrived in San Diego, we were in the car and on our way to Valencia.
Waiting in line felt like being trapped in a Mountain Dew commercial. Sigh. I really hate all things Xtreme. They were playing videos of hot girls eating bull testicles and guys jumping dirt bikes while guzzling energy drinks. Luckily, I was able to take secret photos of a ton of weird people in line. While trying to steal a snapshot of the guy in the skull-emblazoned Castro cap, I noticed a plethora of hoodies:
However, not everyone was rocking the hoodie. It appears if you do not have a hoodie, then skinny jeans are a must. Especially if you are an overweight, teenage boy. Note: No, dear reader, it has not escaped me that I own (and wear) both hoodies and skinny jeans. However, I am allowed to talk shit because I am a hypocrite… and it’s my blog.
We finally get to the front of the line and the ride breaks down. Sigh. We’ve been waiting for 30 minutes and don’t want to leave, but the time is ticking away. They bring out this guy:
who saves the day. Fifteen minutes later we are strapped in, turned upside down, and thrown off the side of a giant metal machine. It was awesome. Xtremely awesome. Matt was white-faced the entire time. I should have paid $12 for the photo they shoot of you on the ride. I am laughing happily and Matt looks like saw his own ghost. It’s hilarious.
After making sure that Matt was okay, we race over to Viper. No line! Whoo! I got nostalgic remembering the first time I rode Viper. The seven loops seemed like nothing, even to Matt (who said that X2 had exceeded his Xtreme threshold). Ten minutes later we were headed towards the back of the park to Tatsu (which we didn’t ride due to its long line) and Superman the Escape.
Superman Escape reminded me of how far downhill Magic Mountain had gone. Things were falling apart and a bit dingy. The Fortress of Solitude that once held masses of excited riders, now held few. And they all forgot to wear deodorant. Which wouldn’t have been a big deal if Magic Mountain had remembered to turn on the A/C. That cave was like being inside a jock strap.
Luckily, we didn’t have to wait too long. Plus, the ride operator gave us the option of getting a count-down or just being shot out of the gate in surprise. We opted for the surpise shoot-out. Maybe it’s because I’m old, but that ride was much more fun than I remembered. It rocked my bangs:
Next we rushed off to Riddler’s Revenge, one of my personal favorites. It sucks to be disappointed. Due to cost cutting measures, the neat neon green question marks weren’t flashing around the room, the music wasn’t booming, and the track wasn’t lit up. But, I did fit on the ride this time, with ample room to spare, and that is a nice feeling.
Deja Vu was my favorite ride of the night. It was AWESOME!! You are strapped in and sucked backwards up a vertical tower. You are hanging face down with your feet dangling – the only think keeping you from instant death is an iron bar hugging your chest.
Then they drop you – totally free fall. Instead of crashing and blowing up, your back on the tracks and racing forward through the galley at 65mph before going into a cobra roll, a regular loop and then up a 200ft tower where you are hanging backwards before free falling and going through the same thing backwards. It was awesome, almost as awesome as these shoes:
Note: And yes I know I wore striped socks to the Revelle semi-formal dance and I know there is a photo (somewhere). Please see above about me being a hypocrite.
It was almost 9pm so we rushed to Psyclone, which was replaced by Terminator Salvation. It looked like the same ride, but with guys in fatigues yelling at you to “RUN” past bursts of flames licking at your limbs and then cramming you into strange “bunker rooms”.
Some guys on the back of the train kept chanting “AGAIN! AGAIN!” so we got to ride a second time without having to run through the line again! Whoo hoo!! Unfortunately, this put Matt over the edge and 30 minutes later, he was on the side of the road puking. Yes, I did photo it, but it didn’t turn out. You guys got lucky.