So Ruby said I had body dismorphia because I thought that I was bigger than she was (okay, I have more thighs and she has more boobs, so I guess we even out but I did try on a pair of her pants just to make sure – yay, they fit fine!) But maybe that is why I am having such a hard time with this LD thing… because seriously, it went through my head several times that he just didn’t want to be with me because I was fat or that I was too tall or too loud or that I had saggy boobs (and he even said they were fine) and gross stomach skin. Bleck! (For the record, LD does not think that. He says: “You are funny, smart, witty, insanely sexual and hot and a ton more”) So yeah, OBVIOUSLY, Ruby is right again and I have body issues. That’s why I thought for almost three years “Why would Matt even be with me!! He’s a god and I am a monster!!”
And then it doesn’t help when you finally get over it being about you your friend says that “Well if he loved you 100% then he would chase after you.” Sigh… so now it’s my fault again? I re-read the email. Nope. Nope. Nope. It’s not me. Maybe in the end, though, I am lucky that he is afraid to commit. Maybe it would have been a struggle to keep him from clamming up and I would have spent tons of money in long distance calls and transatlantic flights just to have him pull away from me. Some nights I don’t feel so lucky, but hey, c’est la vie…
And without further ado… I give you your FRIDAY FIVE!!!!!
Facebook Job (oh how I want you…)
Realizing how similar my life is to New Moon
Realizing that the New Moon Soundtrack is awesome!
Having to give up my underwears to my sister
Being close enough to my sister to lend her my underwears
My sciatic pain coming back…
Now I have a good reason to hit the gym!
Team Jacob or Team Edward
Yay – The Kensington House did not make it this week (but you’re always in my thoughts, K House… always.)