So I got out of the shower today and something was different. Maybe it was the fact that the annoying lady in green from the Tampax commercials decided to visit. Or maybe it was the right-handed, open palm slap to the face Jaxon woke me up with. POW! Or maybe, like Samsa, I had metamorphosed… but not into a Ungeziefer.
No, no, no. This is was a good different, good like tucking your shirt into your underwears, rocking a jbf pony, and eff wearing pants for the day. (Of course, I did have to eventually put a pair of pants on, but it was done with great reluctance.) I’ve evolved. Every so often it happens. You’ll wake up and think, wow… I forgot to save my work and it was all deleted. Yep, that is what I think when I wake up after evolving. And I then wish that I would evolve into saving my effing work!!! (It’s been a bad habit since freshman year. Ugh.)
Soooooo, since my blog post is gone, it is up to me to come up with something spectacular on the spot. Trouble is I had a really icky dream that made me very, very, very sad. There was a lot of stuff about taking too long to clean kitchens, bikes and falling into chasms, but what keeps replaying through my body is the feelings I felt after I was told that I was no longer loved. It came as a kick in the face, totally unexpected. A flood of emptiness and loneliness. And yet, it was just a dream. A dream that I know, that I fear, rings dead truth. I hate this sickening to my stomach that so enticingly tempts me into the spiraling black hole of self-despair (a horrible place to go, especially in a onesie).
And since, I am now back in my makeshift onesie (pants are totally over rated), I really can’t be going down any black holes. So onward. It’s Friday and for those of you who hate reading the depressing sadness that is sometimes my life (I know it’s hard to believe but even awesome people have bad days) its time for the FRIDAY FIVE!!!
Today’s Friday Five is brought to you courtesy of your friends at MST3K’s Riff Trax’s presentation of Twilight. (Llllllaadies!):
5.
Periods
Being a hater! (I’m hating on some periods right now!)
4.
Girl Scouts harassing you to buy their deliciously overpriced cookies.
Twilight with Lizzie (I’m gay! Line! Lllllaadies!)
3.
Getting rejected in a dream
Actually laughing out loud at an IM instead of just writing “Ha ha”!!
2.
Those “Real Values Commercials“
The “pa-donk-a-donk” text!
1.
Not knowing what to do
Doing something anyway!
Well I am in need of some serious sleep – got to wipe out this sore throat before it develops into something worse. Besides, I can’t have my REAL Age go up, I won’t be able to buy student priced airfare! Hasta luego mis amigos!
Jessielah! 
Re: padonkadonk. You should have seen it – I was waiting in line buying some lemon & prune juice — and I was tempted just to set my stuff down on the shelf while waiting for the dreaded customerweasels to work the self-checkout machines.
Can a man have a padonkadonk?
What would it look like if someone had a padonkadonk AND wore a hip pack?
Re: everything else — hang in there. We’ve been through the hardest part of all this, and things will only get better from here. In fact, I believe things will be good sooner than we might imagine.
PS. We’ll need to xfer our gym memberships. I don’t want a butt-shelf! =)
Number 3 is my favorite. I did that multiple times yesterday. We were on FI-YAH!
I have nothing else to add at this point. I’m tired and I should have read my work email last night because my early sort was canceled. Dammit. Coulda had an extra few minutes of sleep. . . It matters! Shut up.
By the way what in the world is that blue guy?!? Lol. That’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen. I think we had one of those living in the walls of the Kensington house back yard studio.